008 | “Better Sex & Connected Intimacy” with my friend, sex coach Xanet Pailet

Written By Jonathan Sherman

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▶︎▶︎ EPISODE NOTES

In this episode of The RelateGREAT! Podcast, Jonathan welcomes Xanet Pailet (pronounced "zhuh-nay pay-let"), a bestselling author and founder of Passionate Intimacy Retreats, to discuss overcoming intimacy challenges and living an enriching, orgasmic life. Xanet shares her journey from a sexless 26-year marriage to becoming a sex and intimacy educator, emphasizing the importance of somatic experiences in healing and connection. The conversation covers practical tips for couples to enhance their intimacy, the differences between traditional talk therapy and experiential approaches, and how to create a safe, judgment-free sexual playground. Xanet offers actionable advice and resources, including her books and retreats, to help couples reignite passion and build deeper emotional connections.

  • 00:30 Introduction to Xanet Pailet

  • 01:56 Personal Journey and Name Change

  • 03:58 Transition to Sex and Intimacy Educator

  • 07:58 Understanding Somatic Approaches

  • 10:02 Challenges in a Sexless Marriage

  • 16:35 Discovering Tantra and Healing

  • 21:25 Practical Tips for Intimacy

  • 29:17 The Pressure to Perform and Misattunement

  • 29:33 Coaching Couples: Hands-On Guidance

  • 30:45 Creating a Safe Playground for Couples

  • 32:56 Program Overview: Passionate Intimacy Retreats

  • 34:23 Experiential and Interactive Exercises

  • 35:23 The Importance of Repair in Relationships

  • 38:52 Differences Between Talk Therapy and Experiential Therapy

  • 45:15 Upcoming Retreats and Final Thoughts

  • 48:20 Message of Hope and Free Gift

Referenced Resources:

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Jonathan Sherman
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